Overcome Fear Expose Secrets and Tell What Happened0
It’s hard to overcome fear, expose secrets, and tell what happened (your story of abuse) when you fear an abuser and carry the burdens of guilt and shame.
You become fearful of exposing your secrets of child abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic violence because of anxiety. You might question, What do others think about your choices?
It takes great courage to face fear, expose secrets, and acknowledge what happened.
I’ve learned acknowledging what happened, physically and emotionally, is an essential part of the healing journey. When you take the first step, either by talking with someone or writing in a journal, you start to unpack repressed memories and move forward.
Yes, intimidation and fear can keep you silent for a short time. But you still have the option to overcome fear, expose the secrets, and tell your abuse story. When you do, the benefits of healing emotional wounds and restoring unhealthy mindsets outweigh the worry of threat.
I hope the rough draft excerpt below encourages you to conquer your fear of exposing secrets so you can tell what happened and move onward, too.
The Secret Darkness: Overcoming Abuse and Finding Freedom
A Memoir, L.M. Carleton
Upstate, New York, Spring 2012.
I felt unloved and ended our twenty-two-year relationship.
Afterward, I created a dating profile to search for a good man. At first, I kept the profile photos hidden, not wanting to expose my identity.
Then one man asked to see a picture, so I sent one, and he responded, “You’re beautiful; why do you hide away?”
I lived in fear of an estranged husband after fleeing for my life to a domestic violence shelter over twenty years ago, without my children.
His words encouraged me to change the visibility setting to “Public Image” so everyone could see the identity of “PinkMusic.”
Afterward, a message, “Is that u, Linda?” arrived in my inbox twice. Confused, I clicked the profile name to view his photos.
The past rushed back like a tidal wave.
I clicked the logout button. I wanted to delete my account. But I had a choice to live in fear or step out in faith.
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness” Isaiah 41:10.
When the wall around my heart shattered into a million pieces, I spent hours crouched on the living room floor crying because the memories of anguish and the loss of two children were overwhelming.
Later on, I created a writing blog on Tumblr and began to reflect on past experiences and realize how abusive and dysfunctional our family was and its impact on every area of my life.
I discovered how abuse affects your mindset about love, family dynamics, intimate relationships, and sexual behavior. This mindset became so embedded in thinking patterns it wasn’t abnormal.
These patterns were impossible to recognize amid this dysfunctional storm. It seemed like the mind was ordinary, but thoughts became scattered.
The waves of life hit hard. The stormy seas changed from turbulent to calm and back to rough again. I made unhealthy choices and suffered significant losses. But resilience helped me bounce back and grow despite life’s adversities.
I wasn’t a crazy Carleton!
I was born into a cycle of dysfunction.
I was the child my parents raised me to be. And the patterns of thinking and acting came from my parents’ mindset.
They’re handed down, one generation to the next, without a thought for a resolution.
There is little to no chance for the children who suffer from this cycle of dysfunction to renew their minds, mend their hearts, and have a slim chance of a victorious life.
The only way victims stand a chance is for survivors to speak out and share their experiences of overcoming child abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic violence.
That’s me, the voice that will not be silent. The strong one who will bring these secrets out of the darkness into the light so you can see the power of rescuing grace.
I understand how difficult it is to overcome fear. I hope Abuse Journal helps you gain the courage to tell your abuse story and the wisdom to conquer adversity and restore your life.
Related Post: The Courage to Tell Your Abuse Story