What is a toxic relationship with drama?
Toxic relationships develop when one or both people are mentally unhealthy and emotionally unstable.
When a relationship starts on shaky ground, the toxicity identified by excessive drama increases unhealthy behavior patterns (passive aggression, manipulation, jealousy, etc.).
These harmful behaviors create a toxic situation with emotional highs and heartfelt lows. As the anxiety builds, you feel extreme love and hate and express deep sorrow and forgiveness.
I believe young adults who come from dysfunctional families are more susceptible to toxic relationships with drama because they lack the wisdom to recognize healthy relationships.
Toxic relationships start quick and escalate to domestic violence when you miss the clues to identify you are in a toxic relationship, often called the red flags.
The clues you are in a toxic relationship include;
- Passive Aggression
- Absence of Trust
- Low Self Esteem (Self-Respect)
- Poor Personal Boundaries
- Lack of Communication
- Emotional Highs
- Emotional Lows
- Extreme Feelings of Love
- Extreme Feelings of Hate
- Accepting Poor Behavior
- And More
The manipulation, jealousy, lack of self-esteem (self-respect), personal boundaries, and the decaying of trust create an unhealthy relationship.
Unhealthy behaviors like passive aggression result in arguments, slapping, hitting, punching, escalating the drama, and increasing abusive behavior.
Toxic Relationships Increase the Risk of Domestic Violence
When you come from a dysfunctional family, you have a limited understanding of a healthy relationship. The toxic relationship of your parents contributes to an unhealthy mindset about love.
Being predisposed to a life of abuse, you develop poor boundaries and unstable emotions. And the lack of parental guidance enables you to make unhealthy relationship choices.
At eighteen, I became involved in a toxic relationship, experienced manipulation, slapping, and hitting, and married three months later. Soon the jealousy of previous partners surfaced, and the risks of domestic violence increased.
The low self-esteem (self-respect) and lack of personal boundaries enabled the abuse, which caused feelings of extreme love and hatred and created emotional highs and heartfelt lows.
The absence of trust eroded the relationship, and the lack of communication skills created a toxic relationship with drama. At the time, this unhealthy relationship was difficult to recognize, and as the toxicity increased, so did the chances for domestic violence.
I was fortunate to make it out alive; many don’t.
5 Ways to Prevent a Toxic Relationship with Drama
There are ways you can prevent becoming involved in a toxic relationship. Below is a list of 5 things you can do to avoid toxicity and increase your chances of a healthy relationship.
#1 Acknowledge the Signs or Red Flags of Unhealthy Relationships
You can prevent becoming involved in a toxic relationship with drama by acknowledging an unhealthy relationship’s signs or red flags.
The signs or red flags of an unhealthy relationship include;
- You notice they put you down or belittle you.
- You experience upset, anger, and hostility often.
- You see jealousy over previous partners.
- You’re not allowed to visit family and friends.
- You’re usually unhappy and cry.
- You get hit, slapped, or punched.
- You compromise your morals.
- You start to change who you are.
- You begin to live in fear.
If you witness any sign of an unhealthy relationship, the time to leave is NOW. Don’t wait; with hope, believing things will change or get better.
The truth is the longer you stay, and the more toxic the environment becomes, your risk for domestic violence increases.
Ignoring the red flags almost always contributes to a cycle of abuse that is difficult to escape out of fear. You must set healthy personal boundaries and leave asap before the drama and violence escalates.
#2 Own Healthy Personal Boundaries
Healthy personal boundaries protect you from harmful situations and control what you will and will not tolerate in your life.
I believe healthy personal boundaries are related to self-esteem and self-respect. Meaning you can’t have one without the other.
Poor relationships erode your self-esteem, weaken your self-respect, and cause you to allow disrespectful and immoral behavior. When your morals are compromised, unhealthy personal boundaries will enable you to make excuses and irrational decisions.
I’ve learned unhealthy personal boundaries originate from a lack of self-worth and self-love. It’s when you don’t matter to you, and you put others’ needs, wants, and desires before yourself, no matter the personal loss.
Healthy personal boundaries begin with loving yourself enough not to tolerate poor behavior from anyone. Not in a mean or nasty way, but I walk away from those who treat me poorly in a courageous way.
You don’t settle for less than you deserve or change who you are to please others. When you have personal boundaries, you avoid toxicity, and your emotions calm and become more stable.
#3 Calm Your Unstable Emotions
Many people and situations stimulate our emotions, good and bad. Toxic relationships contribute to emotional instability (emotional highs and emotional lows) and increase your abuse chances.
I’ve discovered one way to calm your emotions is to understand them.
- What makes you upset, angry, and lash out?
- Why do you feel unwanted or unloved?
- Why are you holding a grudge?
- How do you feel about your childhood?
- What makes you feel loved?
- Why do you have resentment?
- Why do you harbor hatred?
You can calm your emotions when you understand why you feel the way you do about certain people and situations and resolve the underlying cause of distress.
The longer you hold a grudge or harbor feelings of resentment and hatred, the greater your risk of operating from a place of emotional hurt.
When you spend time alone in self-reflection and use reflective writing to release your thoughts and feelings, you better understand yourself and your emotions.
You discover the why and what answers to quiet your emotions. When your feelings are calm, you don’t act from emotional hurt and make healthy relationship choices.
#4 Make Healthy Relationship Choices
To make healthy relationship choices, you must understand the difference between unhealthy and healthy relationships.
Unhealthy relationships start quick, fail to thrive, create excessive drama, and end in disaster. In contrast, healthy relationships take time to develop a friendship, and feelings of love grow and mature with age.
To make healthy relationship choices, you must have personal boundaries and be mentally and emotionally stable. You live in your truth and walk away from anyone who displays controlling, toxic, or abusive behavior.
#5 Live in Your Truth
You’ve come a long way from the person you used to be. You have learned how to identify the clues of a toxic relationship and spot the red flags to prevent domestic violence.
You learned the importance of having personal boundaries, calming your emotions, and knowing the importance of making healthy relationship choices.
Know it’s time to live in your truth, and that requires courage.
You will meet toxic people in your journey to love, and it takes courage to live in your truth. To maintain personal boundaries, not compromise your morals, and never accept anything less than you deserve, a loving relationship.
Bonus: How to Have a Loving Relationship
Do you need guidance to overcome personal challenges and support to have a loving relationship? If so, I’d like to introduce you to my mentor Joe Amoia at GPSforlove.com.
Joe has been a blessing in many ways over the last few years.
I found his website featuring support videos during a time of deep anguish. He helped me sort out the confusion and understand what it takes to have a loving relationship. I know he and his wife Natalie can do the same for you.
What I liked about Joe the most is his ability to tell you the truth, no bs. He gives it to you straight over and over again until you understand the meaning of true love. Thanks Joe 🙂
Learn About Joe & Natalie Amoia on GPSforLove or watch the introduction video below.