
Love is action, not a feeling, and the actions of a man (or woman) tell you he (or she) loves you. Words can change on a whim, but his (or her) consistent actions of devotion and support tell you he (or she) loves you.
When a man’s (or woman’s) words always match his (or her) actions, and his (or her) actions always profess love for you, they won’t change daily; they are constant every day.
It’s difficult to see our blind spots when looking for a partner to share our lives with. Our longing for love overshadows our judgment and allows us to justify and accept the poor actions of a potential new partner.
It is challenging to manage longing for new love and rushing into unhealthy relationships. One thing that helps me stay focused on finding the right partner is remembering that love is an action, not a feeling.
Take Words with a Grain of Salt
Take words with a grain of salt, but watch actions like a hawk.
Watch how he (or she) treats you in public and private.
Do his (or her) words or professions of love line up with his (or her) actions?
Resist the urge to justify poor behavior.
Watch for the red flags (jealousy, controlling patterns of behavior, demeaning words to tear you down, passive aggression and hot and cold behaviors, isolation tactics, not wanting you to talk with friends).
Suppose he (or she) wants to marry you without even knowing you.
He (or she) blocks your calls because he (or she) is too busy or doesn’t want to hear from you.
He (or she) doesn’t like you speaking to him in a certain way.
He (or she) doesn’t like you talking to your friends, counselor, or others.
He (or she) degrades the way you speak.
He (or she) says one thing and then changes the story repeatedly.
Poor actions speak volumes.
They say I love you if you talk to me how I want you to speak to me.
I love you if you only speak to me when I want you to talk to me.
I love you if you don’t talk to your friends or others in your circle.
It doesn’t matter how good-looking or wild the sex is or how much money is in his (or her) pocket. Poor actions do not speak of love. Instead, they speak of patterns of controlling and abusive behavior. It’s time to leave!
Don’t Allow Your Emotions to Control the Relationship
Emotions are strong feelings that shape our thoughts and actions. They also play a key role in choosing relationships based on our feelings.
Avoid judging declarations of love based solely on your feelings, as emotions can shift and become unpredictable. This approach may lead to decisions you’ll regret in the future.
Feelings justify poor behavior.
Feelings make excuses for being treated poorly.
Feelings believe things will change for the better someday.
Feelings tolerate being mistreated.
Actions speak the truth.
A man’s (or woman’s) actions, driven by behavior patterns instilled by the mindset we carry in life, should “always” be questionable until he (or she) has proven genuine love.
Additional Post for Love is Action
To learn more about love is action read the following post.
How to Love a Man Without Being Sexual
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