Throughout my healing journey, I have learned that even in the darkest moments, a small glimmer of hope can break through—especially when fear and memories of abuse feel overwhelming.
There were times when fear clouded my judgment and shaped my decisions. The weight of past trauma left me feeling lost, consumed by sadness, guilt, and shame. I often withdrew from others, hiding from those who caused harm and isolating myself as a way to cope. The emotional pain felt endless, like a constant punishment I could not escape.
Although stepping out of the darkness and facing adversity felt daunting, it was possible. Along the healing journey, you meet people who offer support, guidance, and wisdom, illuminating a path toward healing and freedom.
How can you learn to overcome the fear of vulnerability? The best way is to do what you fear, walking by faith.
Having suffered abuse at the hands of parents, a boyfriend, a husband, or a stranger leads to being fearful and distrustful. The last thing you want to do is be vulnerable.
Vulnerability to an abuse survivor means you are open and trusting of others. It leaves you susceptible to a possible attack of abuse, criticism, and personal judgment.
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My testimony of coming to faith in Jesus Christ
As a child, I lived in the Adirondack Mountains in a vast woodland once owned by my grandparents, Willard and Maude Carleton.
My father worked in the Paper Mill, plowing and harvesting his fields and cutting down firewood for winter. My mom was a housewife and later provided home care.
Growing up, I experienced neglect, child abuse, and sexual abuse. As a result, I possessed a dysfunctional mindset and unhealthy patterns of behavior and made poor choices in life.
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I wanted to be a website designer.
To become one, you need to be self-driven, motivated, and determined. I was, and therefore, I researched how to code CSS, HTML, XHTML, and HTML5.
I invested numerous nights learning how to read and work with PHP, JavaScript, and other coding languages.
After mastering an FTP program, I was able to incorporate SEO into web pages and other aspects of website design. I also knew how to design and manage responsive, accessible, and mobile-friendly websites.
I had BIG dreams!
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