The Meaning of Unconditional Love

The meaning of unconditional love is a real story dedicated to the loving memory of Edith M Carleton (photo of our parents on their wedding day).

I’m at a loss for words tonight.

My baby sister called in tears to tell me a Secretary who worked at our High School said our Mother passed away five days ago, on July 5, 2015.

Her memorial service took place on Thursday, July 9, 2015.

No one in our family informed us of her passing.

The passing of a Brother

In June 2014, our siblings became angry with us for taking our brother off life support (Tired of Being the Strong One). He fell and sustained severe brain damage. The doctors at Albany Medical Center told us there was no chance of survival.

After his passing, our siblings arranged and held his memorial service without informing us. They took away our right to attend our brother’s and our Mother’s memorial service.

She has every right to be distraught and angry.

During our phone conversation, she asked me two questions. In this blog post, I will share my response to them and say goodbye to our Mother.

The First Question

The first question she asked was,

Do you think mom became saved?

I said,

I don’t know for sure. You did mention she said “I’m sorry for what had happened to you kids” I would say yes based on this but, only God knows for sure.

This question comes from a lovely woman (Liz) who “never” had the Mother’s love she wanted so desperately her entire life. She is the youngest of nine children and has been virtually motherless since she was seven or eight.

She moved independently at age fifteen or sixteen, managed an apartment, held a job, and went to school. She is the only one to graduate from College not once but twice.

Love Unconditionally

Liz spent her entire life feeling unloved by our Mother. In her passing, she wanted to know if our Mother became saved. She loved our Mother unconditionally, even unto death.

She loved our Mother even though she could not return her love. My sister continued loving our Mother the same way; this is God’s love working in us. To give others love even when they don’t return or deserve it.

Let us all follow my sister’s lead to love unconditionally. I love you, Liz, for showing me the beautiful things in life. In a dark and troublesome world, you always cling to the good. You are a bright light shining in the darkness.

Keep shining, love!

The Second Question

The second question she asked was,

How do you feel about this?

Ouch! I’m not too fond of deep feelings.

I have mastered the art of avoiding deep feelings for a long time. Acknowledging those feelings means grieving, and we don’t get along well.

I think!

I stayed up for hours last night thinking about this question. Here is my response;

I think our mother was like the rest of us. She was born into sin, failed at times, and was successful at times. Mom raised us to the best of her ability, and she let us down too. Our mother was human and in need of God’s saving grace.

I believe Mom found God’s grace before she died.

For years, I was at odds with and angry at our Mother. She pushed her duties on me and forsook me when I needed her to help the most (with my children). I could have kept them if only she had helped me.

Taking hurt personally, I acted angrily for a long time. I took the abuse we endured personally and built up hatred in my heart for our Mother. I didn’t continue to love her anyway.

As the years passed, I forgave our Mother. I tried to visit her when my son was twelve but didn’t find her. We were never close and never will be.

It took years to learn our Mother was abused as a child, too. She endured a painful life of turmoil and trials also. I believe our Mother dealt with the pain and anguish of her past in her own way. I think our Mother was a sinner (like us all) who found God’s saving grace.

The Meaning of Unconditional Love

My sister has shown in this post what it means to love unconditionally.

Liz, don’t ever lose the compassion and love for others God has placed in your precious heart. Don’t let this dark and sinful world seal your joyful spirit and the love you share.

Stay close to God and remain in his word. Live authentically in Christ and love with compassion. Do this in honor of our Mother, who you loved so dearly.

God has broken the chains of sin and bondage that plagued our family for so many years. When you feel low in spirit, lean on Jesus Christ’s rock. He will lift you.

Then God will say, “Well done, thy good and faithful servant” one day. Then, we who believe in Jesus will rejoice in heaven one day. We will be together in love always.

In loving memory of Edith M Carleton, I know in my heart you did your best, and now God has laid you to rest. I Love You, Mom, Love L.M. Carleton

Obituary of  Edith M Carleton